


with a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas

by haziness



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Fluff, Introspection, M/M, everyone is happy and alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29225388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haziness/pseuds/haziness
Summary: In another life, Eren and Armin reach the beach without the weight of the world on Eren's shoulders.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Comments: 8
Kudos: 121





	with a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas

**Author's Note:**

> this has nothing to do with canon whatsoever. they're 18 here, but they've just now made it to the ocean. 
> 
> title from "turning page" by sleeping at last

The salt in the air makes Armin’s nose burn. It’s unfamiliar, strange, and so different from the smells of home- burnt coal, stale bread, the everlasting stench of sewage that you can never seem to escape. It’s also different from the smell of war- blood, gun powder, decaying bodies and the putridness of a titan’s breath. 

Armin thinks that the scent of the ocean is one of the world’s few gifts in life. He almost wishes he can bottle it up and take it back home with him. The salt, the clean smell of water and sea grass and sand- it’s all so _pleasant_ , so unlike anything else he has ever experienced. 

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” 

Armin, who had his eyes closed in concentration previously, opens them to eye the boy on his left. He arches his neck to meet depths of sea-green, the color of them gleaming in the vibrant sun. Eren has a placid look in his face, the expression gentle, yet tense. _He looks beautiful,_ Armin thinks. Really beautiful. 

“It’s more than I ever expected,” Armin says, and it’s true. He never, _ever,_ expected for such sights to exist. The vastness of deep blue before him, the shy touches of the waves on the beach. The funny little rock’s that come in an assortment of colors and shapes. Even the creatures that crawl along the beige grains are fascinating, and Armin cannot believe a place such as this exists. It seems too beautiful, too ethereal for a world such as the one they live in. Like a place of paradise in Hell. A flower that sprouts in Hades’ realm. “The book underestimated it all.” 

Eren hums, now looking back into the ocean. Armin doesn’t look away from the elder, keeping his eyes fixated on the brunet’s side profile. He tracks the strands of hair that frame Eren’s jaw, the locks long and laying flat on his neck. Mikasa has tried to get him to cut the strands before, worrying about the practicality of it all. 

_“You’ll combust in the heat, Eren,”_ she’d say, scissors gleaming dangerously in her hand. _“Just cut it like the rest of us.”_

Each time, however, Eren would deny her. He would run away from the shears, laughing when Mikasa would try to catch him. Eren’s laugh is a pretty one, boyish and affectionate. It makes everyone around him buzz with pleasantness, cheeks warm at such a sound. The one time Armin witnessed this, he’d caught Eren’s eye, giggled when the elder had sent him a wink, and then flinched when Mikasa tackled the brunet into the ground, scissors thrown aside. 

The girl in question is helping Sasha grill some meat that the latter had hunted with her bow, some measly bird that surveyed the coast. Armin can hear Sasha’s pleased groans at the smell, Mikasa’s soft murmurs to the girl as they rotate the bird accordingly. He can also hear Jean and Connie fighting over who gets the thickest bed roll, and then Levi telling them that _he_ gets the thickest bed roll. It’s all background noise against the sound of waves crashing onto land, but Armin finds it the best noise he has ever heard. 

Still, he eyes Eren’s face, creasing his brow at the taller’s silence. Eren isn’t the silent type. He’s loud, brash, rude (Levi’s words), and a brat (also Levi’s words). He isn’t the type to stare forlornly into the ocean, or to stand beside Armin while the rest of their friends bustle with activity. It’s strange to see such a fiery boy so bland. It causes Armin’s skin to itch, uncomfortable with the sight. 

“What’re you thinking about?” he asks, shifting closer to Eren. The sand crunches beneath his shoes, and he gets close to the brunet, so close that Armin’s shoulder brushes against Eren’s arm. He huffs. Their increasing height difference will never fail to be unfair. 

Eren looks down at their touched skin and an amused smile stretches his face. Armin purses his lips, and says: “Don’t.” 

The tallers smile only broadens. “Don’t what?” 

Armin pushes his body against Eren’s, the latter mockingly stumbling at the force. “Don’t make fun of my height.” 

“I won’t,” Eren responds, shit-like grin still plastered on his face. “You’ve always been pocket-sized, Armin. It’s one of your best traits.” 

Armin shoves him for real this time, the unexpected strength behind it making Eren lose his footing and fall into the ground, ass planted in the sand. He looks up at Armin and pouts. “What was that for?!” 

“For making fun of me!” 

“I wasn’t even making fun of you! Being short is a fact! It’s nothing to be ashamed about!” 

Armin huffs. “You’re only saying that because you’re six feet. At least I’m not a giant.” 

Eren pauses. “Well…” 

“You know what I mean!” 

The airy sound of Eren’s laughter makes Armin’s anguish pause, the blond looking down at the other boy. Eren looks happy, overjoyed, and since the first time since they’ve arrived, relaxed. It makes Armin’s lips shape into a soft smile, and he plops himself next to his lover. Ass in the sand, he shifts around, getting used to the oddness of the texture. It’s so… movable. 

As Eren’s laughter dies out, Armin decides to lay his head on the other’s shoulder, staring out into the blueness of the ocean. The horizon is turning pink with exhaustion, the sun beginning to hide away to rest. The sight makes Armin not want to look away, but his thoughts are snatched from him when Eren speaks. 

“You asked me what I was thinking, earlier,” he starts, carefully articulating the words. Armin gives a gentle hum in response. “I was thinking about how surreal this all is.” 

Armin gives him a chance to elaborate, but when he doesn’t, the blond looks towards Eren. The older eyes are stubbornly fixated on the sight before them, not meeting Armin’s gaze. The expression tells Armin enough. 

“In what way?” he asks. The question is simple— open so that Eren could answer with something light- like he can’t believe water is actually blue- or heavy, like what is currently on his mind. Either way, Eren has an out. One that Armin offered with ease. 

“I… I never thought I’d ever be able to see this. With you. Or… with anyone else,” Eren says, voice quiet. “I never thought I would make it this far. Always believed I would die getting you guys here, and be happy doing it.” 

The mere mention of his best friend, his partner, dying is enough to make Armin’s heart skip a beat. To hide his shaken expression, he puts his head back onto Eren’s shoulder. The motion makes the brunet shift closer to Armin, leaning down so that his neck isn’t so awkwardly placed. The warmth that radiates from their bodies is comforting; Armin relishes in it. 

“When you died, I knew that I wouldn’t be happy again,” there’s a shake in Eren’s tone, a tension that tells how hard this is to talk about. “when I saw your body, any hope that I had left in the world disappeared. You- you were disfigured, and I couldn’t even touch you. Couldn’t even comfort you when you were gone. And- and what’s worse, is that I knew you sacrificed yourself for _me_.” 

The thickness in Eren’s voice causes Armin to place a pale hand on the other’s own, interlacing their fingers; a reminder that Armin is here, alive. That they’re both okay. Eren thumbs caress the blond’s knuckles in response, bringing them to his lips as he kisses them with a staggering breath.

“That was one of the worst days of my life. The helplessness that I felt, knowing that I lost someone else I loved when I could’ve saved them- it overcame me. I was desperate. Hell, I almost fought Captain just to get that damn syringe. And when you came back to life, I knew that I never wanted to feel like that again. At least not with you, or Mikasa, or any of our friends. I told myself that I’d do _anything_ , anything to get you all here. To this fucking ocean. Even if it meant giving myself up in the process.” 

Armin takes in the words with a heavy heart, eyelashes damp with unshed tears. He’s always known that Eren has had a burden on him all his life- a curse of responsibility for his loved ones. It’s what made him protect (or at least try to) him and Mikasa, what made him drag Armin out of that titan’s mouth even when his own leg had been a mere stump knee down. And it just got worse after discovering his shifter abilities. Now, he wasn’t a mediocre hot-headed soldier, now he was Humanity’s Hope. His friends Hope. The sole brethren of a gift meant to save the world. 

Armin knew Eren felt all of this, had seen it weighing down on his shoulders, but he'd never understood just how much the shifter had suffered from it. Becoming a titan himself was a jarring experience, knowing that he has the power to destroy civilizations with a mere cut to his hand has weighed on his heart. But, Armin has never had the same pressure as Eren. He never had the entire government breathing down his neck, never had oily officials hissing that they would kill him if he messed up ever-so-slightly. No, Eren did all that himself. He trained himself to become Humanity's Hope, shaped himself into an unrealistic mold. And at fifteen, Eren Jaeger wasn’t just a boy, he was a weapon. One that could save the world. One that everyone, even Humanity's Strongest and the likes of Erwin Smith, relied on. 

But to Eren, the world has only consisted of only a few people. At first, his parents, Mikasa, and Armin. And then others— Jean, Sasha, Connie, Historia, Hange, and, although the man would sneer at the mention, Levi. These people who Eren love and rely on the most have been a double edged sword, being the reason why the man keeps going, but also being the victims of his greatest fear. 

Armin, in his thoughts, hears Eren chuckle. “But, it turns out you all are stubborn as fuck. Like roaches, I swear. I don’t think I really had anything to worry about.” 

The blond laughs and tightens his grip on Eren’s hand. “You know it’s hard for us to die. We all like to annoy Captain too much, and no one can wipe out Hange. Connie thinks they secretly injected themselves with titan genes so that they would live longer.” 

At the mention of their superior, they both look to the left of the ocean. Hange is there only in their underwear and a shirt, bent over to pick up things from the salty water. They gasp at every artifact, holding it over their head and into the sunlight so they can observe it with their one eye. In their hand appears to be something _wiggling_. Armin scrunches his nose. 

“One thing I wish weren’t here are all those _slimy_ things. They’re gross,” Armin remarks. When they first arrived here, everyone but Levi jumped into the water, soiling their clothes. It wasn’t until Armin felt something brush against his leg did he get out of the water (after screaming so loud everyone thought he was being eaten by a titan). 

“Mikasa says some of them are edible plants,” Eren says, “her mom apparently had this book on Eastern culture, and they ate plants like those. Not sure if they’re the same thing, though.” 

“Hange will probably test it when we get home. Imagine having a new source of protein- that’d be wonderful. I’m sick of potatoes, and no telling when the Scouts will be sent meat any time soon.” 

Eren hums. Armin, who still has his head on the elder’s shoulder, brings his attention to his hand which is still being cradled in Eren’s. It brings a sweet flush to his cheeks, the intimacy of it all. Eren is holding his hand with so much gentleness that Armin feels like he’s fine ivory, not a boy who has the power of destruction. Armin eyes the thumb that is stroking over his knuckles, appreciating the way the tanned skin moves, smooth and trance-like. 

“What do you think sleeping situations are gonna be like?” Eren asks. He tilts his head so that his cheek is resting against Armin’s pale hair, causing them both to lean into each other. 

“Probably the usual. We have three tents, so me, you, and Mikasa will get one, Sasha, Jean, and Connie will get another, and Levi and Hange will share the biggest.” 

Eren grumbles. “I hate sharing with you and Mikasa. You guys always take the blankets from me.”

“It’s because you take the blankets from _us_ , you hog. It’s not our fault the blankets don’t cover your feet. Besides, we have separate pallets this time.” 

“What is it with you and height?! You’re almost as bad as Captain!”

“Don’t say that!” 

“Why not?! It’s true!” 

“I’m not _that_ bad,” Armin protests, getting up on his knees in front of Eren- who’s criss-crossed- swinging their joint fingers to where their knees touch. “I just really wanted to grow with you guys. I never thought I would have to look _up_ to you. Maybe Jean, but-“ 

“What do you mean ‘only Jean’?! You didn’t think I could be tall?!” 

“No! Well- yes. But-“ 

“You can’t take it back!” 

“ _Eren_ ,” Armin whines, exasperated. “I just didn’t think you would get so much taller than me. Even Mikasa and Sasha beat me. It’s embarrassing.” 

Eren gives a gross, cheesy smile. “I think it’s cute- adds to your boyish charm.” 

At that, the blond shoves Eren down into the sand, not caring when the other man sputters. Sand, they learned this morning, is an absolute _bitch_ to get out of hair. Armin wonders how charmed Eren is now. 

* * *

“You guys know the rules- no fucking, no fighting, and no loud noises or I’ll kill you all.” 

Armin looks at Levi, mortified, as he takes off his sandy shoes, getting ready to enter the tent. The look on his Captain’s face is dead serious, and Armin feels a familiar chill run up his spine at the look of it. Some things never really change. 

“C’mon Levi, you know they’re all platonic here,” Hange intercepts, patting the short man on the shoulder. However, they pause and seem to reconsider their statement. Armin curls into himself when their eyes lock onto his, and then Eren who is walking up to him. “okay, maybe not all.” 

Levi rolls his eyes with so much force Armin thinks he can _feel_ it. “They’re teenagers. Unpredictable, rabid, and wild.” 

“You’re making us out like titans,” Connie grumbles, then pales. “Wait.” 

Eren groans. “Just stop. I promise Armin and I aren’t gonna rip each other’s clothes off as soon as we’re in the same premise. And you guys are forgetting _Mikasa_ is sharing with us, too. Don’t make things awkward.” 

“With you, Eren, things are always going to be awkward. It’s just something about your face, your presence… it’s beyond explaining,” Jean says, teasing look in his eye. “You’re just lucky Armin can tolerate you.” 

Eren guffaws, looking at the aforementioned with wide eyes, waiting for Armin to defend him. When his lover doesn’t, Eren’s face becomes betrayed. But, before he could begin the tangent Armin- and everyone else- was bracing themselves to hear, Mikasa unzips the tent and peeks her head out. 

“I’m done,” she announces, eyes looking at their friends gathered around their tent, but choosing to look at Armin instead. “you’re free to come in.” 

“About time, Mikasa,” Eren complains, taking his shoes off, stripping his shirt, and stepping into the tent. “for only changing into your nightclothes, you took a hell of a long time.” 

“Don’t rush a girls routine, Eren,” Connie warns. He has a traumatized look on his face, eyes wide and haunted. “My sisters… they were brutal.” 

Eren, from the tent, doesn’t respond, and Armin takes that as his cue to wish his squad goodnight and tuck into the tent himself. It turns out Mikasa had taken it upon herself to set up their pallets, and Armin glares at Eren who has the decency to look ashamed. 

“Sorry, Mikasa,” he murmurs, head tilted downwards and looking towards his toes. Mikasa only gives a fond smile, tapping him on the head, and then gracefully sits on her pallet. 

Armin begins to strip, watching as Eren does the same except with his pants only, not perturbed by Mikasa’s bored eyes. The boys have always given the raven-haired her own privacy to change- even though she constantly insisted she didn’t need it. However, growing up together and living as refugees made the two feel obliged to give her _some_ privacy, since she never truly left their sides. 

“Today was awesome,” Eren says, eyes alight with a gleam that Armin hasn’t seen in weeks. Then, his eyes furrow. “Well, half of it.” 

Mikasa perks up at this. “Half?” 

Eren does a ‘shoo-ing’ motion. “You know, my usual paranoia that I’m the sole keeper of my loved ones lives. But I talked about it with Armin, so I’m fine.” 

Mikasa looks at said boy for reassurance, and Armin nods. She then returns her gaze back to Eren. “I hope he reminded you that I’m stronger than you in combat. If anything, _I_ should protect _you._ ” 

Eren pouts. “Why do you always have to mention it?” 

“Because it’s true,” Armin interjects, crouching down next to a small water bucket that they all have in their tent. He takes a soaked rag and drags it on his arms, chest, and neck, getting as clean as possible so his pallet doesn’t end up getting soiled. As he does the motion, he pointedly ignores Eren’s newly interested gaze in him. “we’re all more than capable of protecting ourselves. You even said it- we’re like roaches. We don’t need you looking out for us.” 

Mikasa makes a noise in agreement. When Armin’s done with wiping his body, he gestures Eren to step closer to him, wringing out the rag and dipping it again so that it has renewed moisture. Once his lover is close enough, he begins to diligently wipe at his face, swiping at his jaw, running the rag down his chest and maybe lingering too long on his pectorals and abdomen. He turns the taller man around at Mikasa’s annoyed grunt, not acknowledging his obvious flush, and begins to wipe at the tanned skin of his back. Armin counts the freckles that dot his shoulder blades, evidence of hours working hard out in the sun. He has scars lightening the skin as well, some white specks from when he stayed under the rays for too long and paid for it by a grueling burn. 

“Just enjoy the sea with the rest of us, Eren,” Mikasa finishes, tucking her thin blanket under her chin. “Out of all of us, you deserve it the most.” 

“Agreed,” Armin comments, patting Eren on the pack to tell him he’s free to go. He startles when instead Eren manhandles him so Armin’s facing the tent entrance, back presented towards the taller man. The blond relaxed at the feeling of the rough towel on his back, Eren wiping him down gently. His eyes begin to close when Eren makes a concerned noise. 

“What?” he questions, trying to arch his neck to see behind him. 

“Even through your shirt you got a little burned,” Eren explains, rubbing-motions turning into soft pats at the sensitive skin of Armin’s shoulder blades. “You, Levi, and Mikasa are the exact same.” 

“Not all of us can be sun gods, Eren,” Mikasa says, voice muffled by her blanket. 

Armin agrees. The sun has always been his number one enemy, and it seems like being on the beach has only made the rays more intense. He thinks it’s because the ocean reflects the light, but he honestly isn’t quite sure. But the effects are present on his skin, as well as the bridge of Mikasa’s nose. Somehow, Levi managed to escape the redness, probably by keeping his hoodie on despite the heat. 

“Hange needs to make more salve,” Eren says, dropping the rag back into the bucket. Then, he unzips the tent to place the container outside, ready to be refilled in the morning. “You guys are gonna turn into wild berries before we leave back to home.” 

Instead of replying, Armin practically leaps into his pallet, snuggling into the cloths like an animal does to its burrow. The sun also likes to give Armin with a small headache after he’s been out in it all day, and after the faux-bath he was just given, he feels like he could sleep for weeks. But there’s a certain someone missing- someone who matches body heat with his own and manages to make Armin increasingly warm and saited.

“Come lay down already, Eren. I’ll heal myself tomorrow after breakfast. Mikasa and Levi can have the salve.” Armin doesn’t have to open his eyes to see the affronted look on the older’s face. “It’s _fine_. I don’t see you using the materials for the injuries.” 

“It’s different.” 

“No it’s not,” both he and Mikasa chorus. Knowing he’s beat, Eren lays down next to Armin on his own pallet, the blankets purposely laid next to each other (Mikasa’s doing. Something about how they spend all day with her, so they should at least get to sleep by themselves. Eren and Armin protest every time). 

Feeling eyes on him, Armin opens his own to meet the green of Eren’s irises, the gorgeous color dimmed in the faint lamp light. Armin shifts at the weight of the stare, Eren not even averting his eyes after getting caught. However, the blond refuses to back down, keeping his gaze trained on the brunet’s own: 

_“What?”_ Armin mouths, knowing Mikasa is attempting to sleep not too far away. 

Eren blinks, slow. _“Nothing. You look beautiful.”_

Armin’s mouth opens in shock, eyes widening at the unsaid words. Eren’s eyes track the movement of his lips, gaze dropping downwards, dark and yearning. Unconsciously, Armin licks at his bottom lip, watching as Eren’s expression shifts into something akin to want. 

_“Stop,”_ Armin mouths. He tilts his chin behind him. _“Mikasa.”_

Eren’s response is to sigh heavily through his nose, eyes casting a disappointed look towards his lover. Armin glares at him, Levi’s words echoing in his head. At the reminder of his superior, Armin shifts away from Eren, feeling as if Levi could know what just happened all the way from his tent. 

Before he decides to stick his head under the covers for good, Eren catch’s his gaze again. 

_“Thank you, for today.”_

In response, Armin smiles, gentle and soft. Then, he mouths words of his own to Eren. 

_“I love you.”_

Eren's face breaks out in a grin, tiredness not at all present on his face. A nice rogue paints his cheekbones, happiness a physical presence on his skin. It makes Armin’s stomach flutter,

toes curl, chest ache, knowing he affects the man in such a way. 

Although he already knows what the response will be, Armin latches onto Eren’s lips mouthing the sweet words like a moth to the light. 

_“I love you, too.”_

Armin sleeps easy that night, with salt in the air, the sound of waves crashing against the shore, and surrounded by an emotion strong enough to seep into his bones, relaxing him like a drug. At that moment, it was paradise. 

**Author's Note:**

> the recent manga chapters have made me REALLY sad and seeing eren's and armin's detachment animated has made me even sadder. so i wrote this to cope. 
> 
> please leave a comment and let me know what u think! 
> 
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/iwuvkoo) | [cc](http://curiouscat.me/bunscheeks)


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